Troll Hunter

So it's one of those fake documentry movies but the schtick this time is a crew in pursuit of the truth behind a series of bear attacks on the Norwegian border with Russia. They smell a goverent conspiracy and uncover the secret work of, well the titles a spoiler already, a troll hunter and begin to film him as he educated them on the various breeds of troll witnessing some of the facinafing beasts along the way.

It's the found footage film of the year! So goes the hype but does TROLL HUNTER live up to it's reputation? Oh yes. Happy Horror Hard On is very happy indeed at this Norfic mash-up of THE BLAIR WITCH HUNT (obligatory mention) and Scandanavian folklore. If you do not like "found footage" flicks then you're all ready lost to the cause but if you do you'll find a gem in this film. It maybe could do with a little trimming of the fat in some places just to zip along faster but the troll effects are great and a lot of fun.

Already touted for a remake by Chris Colombus for people who don't read subtitles too well it's a full on hairy troll hard on for TROLL HUNTER.

Shadow

Set along a mountain cycling path, called The Shadow, this Italian lenses horror features badly dubbed Brit psychopath stalking a soon to return to Afghanistan soldier an the attractive female he meets along the way before all of them, good bad or indifferent stumble into the lair of the cover character and everything goes a bit HOSTEL/SAW.

Despite the backing of Film 4 Frightfest to release SHADOW in the UK spurned along by their positive reviews the movie itself is actually quite derivative and dull. There was definitely hints at the possibilities of a technicolour overload and screaming rock score that graced many Italian films of the past but, if you will excuse the pun, this is a pale shadow of those visual and auditory nightmares SUSPIRIA and INFERNO. The lacklustre "torture porn" or "backwoods survival" element of the story hampers the movie form being the twisted tale that lead villain Mortis should inhabit. And THAT ending, let's just say I've had enough of that ending sometime ago it's not big or clever anymore and has been done better before.

Floppy.

Hatchet II

Back to the swamp time as the legend of Victor Crowley further expands in Adam Greens second splatterfest HATCHET II. Lead Marybeth is recast with HALLOWEEN starlet Danielle Harris and the cast is plumped out with Tony Todd taking onore than a cameo in fact his character has ulterior motives behind entering the backwoods to Marybeth avenge her family against the belt sander wielding swamp ghost.

You know I want to love this and i want to love the original but I just don't. I find both films pretty sub-par in terms of script, acting, production and general horrorishness. Now Adam Green has made two superb films with SPIRAL and my favourite horror film of 2010 FROZEN and though I get what HATCHET is about I'm just not into it. I thought it might be an age thing but I like the new NIGHT OF THE DEMONS and all it's over the top silliness so maybe it's not that at all.

Floppy for HATCHET II even though it does star the gorgeous Danielle Harris.

Frightfest 2011

July 1st is a big day for me because I'm going to find out all of the films playing at this years Film 4 Frightfest in that there London. So my little perverted horror fueled mind is already pondering what delightful, demented and probably down tight awful treats we'll see this year.

DETENTION

THE INNKEEPERS

SLEEP TIGHT

THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE 2 has been refused a UK certificate but could this be appealed in time for Frightfest?

RABIES

PHASE 7

STORMHOUSE

SECTOR 7

MIDNIGHT SON

LIVID

18

THE GLASS MAN (Andy Nyman's in it this must be as close to a sure thing as you get)

INBRED

KILL LIST

HAEBUS CORPUS

KNIGHTS OF BADASSDOM

THE TALL MAN

OUTPOST 2

Already confirmed are DON't BE AFRAID OF THE DARK and A LONELY PLACE TO DIE as well as the brilliant TROLLHUNTER though this one had played out at a number of festivals and select performances already. Rumours have it that this is a British horror year which counts out a vast amount of my predictions.


I assume the annoying Discovery Screen will return, why not include some of these films in the main programme if they're that good? I don't like the idea that i miss out on films that I would likely want to see.

Vanishing On 7th Street

Brad Anderson has been quietly working away in the horror and thriller genre with SESSION 9, THE MACHINIST and TRANSSIBERIA and making a good name for himself but this film is a total misstep. It is unengaging and reliant on character cliches and eventually just goes no where. Anderson could so easily be one of horrors top directors, he still is really, and I respect his independent spirit just like Lucky McKee and Ti West but after walking away from The Crazies re-make that could have cemented his a commercial prospect it is dishearting to see such a forgettable film from a good damn director.

Happy Horror Hard On has a total floppy at VANISHING ON 7TH STREET.